Auto-writing
I’m just going to let this post go where it wants to. Auto-writing seems to get things out in a natural way. The key will be not to go back and edit afterwards… for now.
You see, this blog is about learning and rediscovering creativity. I used to paint and draw a lot as a kid and somewhere along the lines, I stopped. Nowadays, I feel like I can better paint pictures with words.
There is something inside me that wants a voice. Either it is my inner child that has gone unheard and feeling unloved for many years, or this inner voice is not mine at all.
For several years now, I have thought of myself as an imposter. As if I am just making these things up in my head. It feels that way. It comes on as a sort of knowing.
It starts out with my guess at the first letter of a name, just as I guessed out loud with my wife this morning. “Lauren. Lawrence. Did you know a Lawrence?”
My wife is going fasting this coming weekend.
As a practice, the Ojibwe will go out into the woods for four days in the spring. No food and no water. They set up a tent with blankets, sleeping bags, and they surround it with tobacco ties of a specific number.
Each tie is made by hand and smudged with a prayer - I make sure I tie one and include it as a prayer from me to protect her while she’s out there.
This can be very spiritually meaningful as she witnessed from her fast last year.
“Yes, one of my clients was a Lawrence.” He passed away some time ago.
“He’ll see you there”, I said.
Once I confirm the spirit by name, they give me goosebumps to confirm I’m correct.
The next steps feel like I’m guessing some more in my head, but I’ve come to know them as suggestions from spirit. Typically it’s the one I’ve identified, but once I open that doorway it seems like other spirits start pushing to the front of the line.
Some stronger or louder spirits in life keep their personalities on the other side and will start speaking to me. Sometimes they are spirits connected to me, other times they are connected to the person I’m physically with.
Every time, they confirm I have this gift no matter how many times I downplay or deny I do.